media spreading FUD

July 31st, 2007

Creative writing is what English teachers like, isn't it? I guess that's what some people were good at in school, and now they're working in newsrooms. Like this fabulous news report.

I should write one of these pieces myself. I'm just not sure if I have what it takes.

Scientists have discovered a *dangerous* new substance called triheptopotassium. You are in _danger_ of being exposed to it almost everywhere you go. Anne Harris, a single mother of three, was walking her two-year-old daughter, Jennifer, in the park when she was hit in the face.
"It came out of thin air, there is no way I could have seen it coming. Once I felt the first drop, I grabbed my daughter and ran for the car. But it was too late, we were both soaked in it."
Anne's friend Marv was home when Anne and her daughter arrived last Tuesday. "She came to my house because it was closest to the park. Anne was frantic. We tried to wash it off her and Jennifer as best we could, but we couldn't be sure that it hadn't gone into the skin and poisoned the blood. We hope and pray that Anne and Jennifer will be okay."

Our technical expert Tony Allen has more. "Thanks, Lucy. Triheptopotassium is a _new_ liquid substance discovered *last year*. It is a clear liquid, which falls from the sky. So far no one knows where it comes from, but one thing is certain: it is *very* dangerous."
Scientists say that the best you can do is stay indoors, and not let your kids play outside under any circumstances.

Now I just need some actors in suits to play the parts. I have to make sure they use enough syllable elongation and other emphasis techniques on words like dangerous.

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1 Responses to "media spreading FUD"

  1. erik says:

    Syllable elongation