I was thinking “how can I visualize my emotional condition over the last month or so”. My level of happiness is roughly the inverse of that graph. It’s so much easier to be happy about simple things, about the status quo, because life is not bad at all. It’s when you start looking ahead to something you would like to achieve that the feelings of anxiety, fear and depression hit you. Me anyway. Wanting more is a calculated risk, if I forget all about what more I could do in life, then I’m safe in my environment. If I start wanting, then inevitably I face the fear of failure. And fearing failure can actually be worse than failing itself, because failing immediately puts it in the past, whereas fear is anxiously expecting the future to unfold in your disfavor, it saps your strength.