tl;dr: Sometimes stereotypes are true.
I came across this rather excellent comic about how people see your resume depending on who they are and after glazing over it and appreciating it as one of my ~5-10 daily interweb funnies, I looked over it again and noticed that it’s eerily accurate.
Positives
- Has written a compiler or OS for fun.
That’d be a yes. - Resume compiled from latex.
Actually, from hand made xsl to latex. There was a time when I was all excited about single source publishing, so that’s what I did here. Xml to html/pdf/txt. (Last time I checked the latex->html bridge was seriously lacking anyway.) - Contributes to open source software.
Check. - Has written compiler or OS for class.
Check. - Has blog discussing programming topics.
You’re here. - President of programming/robotics/engineering club.
Nope. - Participated in programming/robotics/engineering contest.
Nope. - Internship at Google or Microsoft.
They know where to find me. - Has written non-trivial programs in dynamic languages (perl/python/ruby).
Mhm. - Knows 3 or more programming languages.
Right. - Previous position demonstrates similar skills.
Not really. - Has internship.
Has. - Founded a company.
Only a pretend company, and we haven’t been active for about 10 years. - Personal web page uses Rails, PHP or Asp.Net.
Been meaning to switch from PHP to Python, but there’s just no pressing need for it. - Email address at own domain.
Not since 2005. - Has modified programs in dynamic languages (perl/python/ruby).
That’s how I started out with dynamic web stuff in 1999, found perl scripts and tried to mod them without breaking them. - Has personal web page.
Welcome. - High grades, top of class, etc.
Meh.
Neutrals
- Won scholarship.
Have never applied for one. - Lists job at fast food chain.
Haven’t had the pleasure.
Negatives
- Looks kind of drunk in facebook picture.
One of [apparently] few specimen in the human race who don’t find unending ecstasy in alcohol. - Has Ph.D.
Not so much. - Generic cover letter.
Might be tempted. - Mentions skills in Excel/Word.
Over my dead body etc. - Spelling or grammar errors on resume.
My typing is a bit dodgy, but I tend to proofread. - Resume font too small.
Let’s hope not. - All programming experience in class.
Nah. - Knows only 1 programming language.
Once upon a time. - Resume more than three pages long.
I try to make it in two. - Includes irrelevant objective section.
Never knew what the point was of that one. - Took certification course in a technology.
Never occurred to me. - Low grades in relevant courses.
Nah. - Lists visual basic experience first.
Don’t have any. - Topless in facebook picture.
Only by mistake. - Resume uses combination of tabs and spaces to indent sections.
I’m clean, narc. (Actually, if you use Tab in vim with wildmenu, it’s tricky to type a tab without a space first, because it will try to auto complete the current token. Haven’t tried to fix that yet.)

Friday, August 13th, 2010


Alas, it’s not so easy to knock out something that I can say with confidence will be reusable in the future. One piece of functionality I keep reimplementing is output in colors, because it’s hugely helpful to making things look more distinct. The first time I wrote this module I knew I would be using it again and I wished to make it nice and reusable, but I didn’t know what the future uses would be. So I put that off until “later”. In the meantime I copy/pasted it a couple of times into other projects. Shameful, but effective.


