Albert: Welcome to NoDating, how may I help you?

Marcus: I've heard good things about your InstantRelationship program, I think I'd like to try it.

Albert: Alright, follow me.

Marcus follows Albert in the back of the store, they walk down a long hallway where all the doors are closed. Finally, Albert unlocks one door and ushers Marcus to step inside. The room is a bit cramp, there's a bed and a chair inside. In the back there's also a sink with an empty glass on it.

Albert: Lie down here please.

Marcus lies down on the bed. Albert pulls out a box of what looks like tic tacs from his pocket. He goes over to the sink, fills the glass with water and comes back to the bed.

Albert: Here, take one of these and swallow.

Marcus takes a pill and drinks the water.

-- end scene --

* two hours later *

Marcus is lying on the bed sleeping. He opens his eyes and sits up. Albert is seated on the chair.

Albert: How do you feel?

Marcus: Fine, I slept well.

Albert: Okay then, let's begin. First I'll give you a briefing, then you can ask any questions you may have. Your girlfriend's name is Melissa, she's 22 and teaches English evenings to adults in an after-school program. She's from Murcia, but she's lived here with her parents most of her life. Her parents are both lawyers. Melissa wants to be a marine biologist and she goes to school for that.

* 40 minutes later *

You see her on Tuesdays, Fridays and weekends. You also play tennis together Wednesdays at 5pm. Melissa loves reading, cooking, traveling and antiques. She's allergic to pepper.

Marcus: Does she love me?

Albert: Yes. What she loves most about you is your passion for poetry.

Marcus: Say what now?

Albert: You made that up on the first date to impress her.

Marcus: Oh for crying out loud.

Albert: Look, you know how this works. Any other questions?

Marcus: I guess not.

Albert. Well then, good luck!

-- end scene --

* that evening *

Melissa is cooking in the kitchen, Marcus is watching football on tv. He gets up from the couch to get a beer from the fridge.

Melissa: I can't wait to go to that poetry recital tonight.

Marcus: Uhm, Melissa, there's something I have to tell you.. I don't really like poetry.

* 10 minutes later *

Melissa: What else have you said that isn't true?

Marcus: Well, I can't really say, but things may come up as we go along.

-- end scene --

* one week later *

Albert: Hi, welcome back.

Marcus: *groan*